Just a few notes on vacation...

1. It is a hilarious thing to trades women's sunglasses at a wine vinyard with some dude named Mario, enjoying lunch on Berringer Mansion porch-side while I am walking with seven bottles of wine in hand in winter boots and a mocha dress (He ended up with my mint green shades from Forever21 ($4.99), and I with his larger-than-life (a la Nicole Richie) zebra-striped square lenses with Rhinestones on the front. GLORIOUS.

2. A Never Lost device in your Hertz Rental Car is life's solution to easy, stress-free travel.

3. ALWAYS upgrade if you're given the chance.

4. Apparently, not all traveler's are aware that when you stay in an "Inn" or "Bed and Breakfast," it is proper ettiquette to refrain from loud sexual activity. I say this mostly to one woman and man who decided to stay at my mom and I's hideaway for the weekend the last night of our stay.

Mom: "What is that? Is that... a puppy? Or a baby crying?"
Sami: "Uhh... pretty sure those people are having sex."

We both sat still and snickered.

Mom: "See... that's why they need to have TVs in all of the rooms!"

We sat down to breakfast with three other couples: An older woman and her gentleman whom I had bumped into in the hallway to get some water and away from the noise, a newly-married lesbian couple and a younger couple in their late twenties/early thirties.

I have a sneaking suspicion everyone of us (aside from the guilty party) was all in on the joke, but too embarassed to comment. With mom having seen the culprit's purse on the bed, we had an in.

Charge couple number three -- a very scraggly Matthew Broderick look-a-like and his wife, a pear-shaped woman with glasses who would not shut-the-f-up about how wonderful everything was. A flash of their naked bodies flashed in my mind and I shivered, coffee in hand.

Seriously... glad you're comfortable - but if you can't cut the moaning down to a 2, don't DO IT!