Oh... my.... land.

I guess it has always been in my nature to respond to all inquiries/invitations/friends/phone calls/texts, etc. in a timely fashion because

1. It's polite.
2. It drives me nuts to have anything on my 'to do list'

Grad school introduced me to the idea that it's not possible 100% of the time - but I still seemed to make it happen a solid 87%  - Mostly because of my DNA construction. And truth be told, as much as I love social events and get-togethers, there are always the occasional offers that I want to decline, but don't want to be rude, and I have to tell you... "I'm sorry - I have class," "I have too much homework," "I have a huge test to study for," really became my fail-safes to get out of things that I didn't really feel like doing. And best of all, it was for a valid, genuine reason. I really was too tired.

As soon as school ended a few weeks ago, I suddenly panicked... "How will I avoid the people I don't want to spend time with, now?"

Four days later, my part-time contract for a publicity firm went full-time, and now, I talk to people all over the country.  Book a tour in New York, then over to Sacramento. Quick to-do in Chicago, then back over to the east coast.  Oh! Have to run by the book store near my house and inquire about some club events.

I... love it. And it's literally my perfect fit. I get to socialize, work on my own time, come up with creative ideas to get in where I need to (that's what... he said?), and use my brain smarts that have gone wasted at a lot of my past jobs Even all that high graphoria skill I scored in aptitude testing that I always hate in large quantities, but is actually really beneficial as one piece of the publicity puzzle. Best of all, I've managed to avoid getting pushed into that 'secretary' roll that all men do when you're the only gal in the office. Instead, I wound up working with two of the most amazing women I've ever met that value my skills, cheerlead me on when I'm having a rough time, encourage my ideas, and allow me to do the same for them.

The thing is, that I am stimulated so much that when i finish my work day, I don't have much left to give in my personal life - even though I want to.  But, i'm trying. And ironically, that excuse I wanted to replace school arrived pretty easily.

Return a text a day or two later? Yep. Never return a phone call? Likely.  God forbid... I let Facebook Messages sit idle in my inbox for days, maybe weeks... Yep. It's happening.

Luckily the last few years kind of allowed me to whiddle out all the soul-suckers and keep just my quality peeps around, so I dont' have to worry about passive-aggressive drama where'in I have to feel bad for, well... living my life. I'm kind of scared to see how this all goes when I meet the guy I want to have babies with and start doing the 'mom' job along with a career. yikes.

Hopefully I'll hit my stride, and then i'll have to find a new excuse to bail on things.
I hope the next big thing is because i blacked out in a star-shape in the middle of my bed; drooling on my pillow for 9-11 uninterrupted hours of slumber (read: no dreaming, no cats screaming at me to eat, no four-hours of tossing and turning to fall asleep at night, and no obsessive need to read 'one more chapter' in whatever bedtime novel i chose).

This is the goal for fall...