Paranoia Alert -- Monster Washes up on New York Shore

My aunt sent this to me. We're trying to figure out wtf this is!? Apparently, this was the only shot taken, and shortly after, the "animal" body was drug off by an unidentified person...Thoughts?

Paranoia Alert -- Monster Washes up on New York Shore


We don't want to panic anyone, but a minion of Satan recently washed up on a beach in Montauk, N.Y.

The deceased beast looks a bit like a dog with the sharp beak of an eagle, or possibly a shell-less turtle with the dark eyes of a griffin. Either way, it's definitely a portent of the coming apocalypse.

According to the tipster quoted by the Manhattan media types at Gawker, there is "a government animal testing facility very close by" that has led some -- namely us -- to speculate that the beast is an unholy result of dark occult experimentation. If this turns out to be the beginning of an assault on Earth by the dark forces, don't say we didn't warn you.

(Gawker may have later accepted that the unfortunate animal is more likely a dog, or else a viral advertising campaign of some kind, but honestly, we're holding out hope it really is a hybrid dinosaur water monster.)