My Weird Defense Mechanism

For some reason, I was programmed at a young age to think people had malicious intent when people got too close, and damn the man who should have power over my heart. In retort, I end up retaliating by channeling my secret identity "Molly Meanpants" because for some strange reason, ignorance and withholding, especially after over exposure of feelings means power. Granted, there's normally some situation that's triggered this reaction, and in the last few weeks, this cycle has sent me through a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. The only difference this time is that I'm aware of it, thus rendering everything pointless while I'm still attempting to fight a needless battle. Not awesome. (Really) old habbits die hard, and gosh darnit if I could just figure out how to negate the whole thing! How does one do this?