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I have a confession to make...

Monday, August 10, 2009
Just like any other human being out there, I question myself often and look to outlets to reaffirm that I'm not utterly repulsive/unintelligent/unwanted.

The unfortunate thing about the last three months is that I have felt pretty undesirable 100% (as opposed to only 45%) of my days. Not awesome. I'm not sure I can put my finger on exactly why this is, but all things considered, I haven't been very shiny, happy lately. A wise woman told me once that if you're hungry, you wait it out for the steak and lobster rather than cramming some hydrogenated crap potato chips in your face. In theory, this makes sense - and there's a lot of fine food in my life - but it always seems like the fake crap is always easier... and cheap.

So I've been filling myself up with words from someone whom I 1. don't respect 2. don't want near me and 3. i don't trust because I can't seem to be strong enough to pull myself through the low period. I don't feel great about it. I don't feel guilty either, but I know it's not aiding in getting me back to a better self esteem.

Add in the factor that when the person you're using for affirmation has a little problem at cutting off supply, this entire cycle seems incredibly unfair...

In observing my faults, I've also recognized a few other people doing this to me, as well.
I am their greasy bag of salt and vinegar. I don't want to be anymore.
Which I guess is just as much on me as it is these over-eaters.

Common sense, but I guess it takes some of us longer than others.
Hopefully I can stick to this. I'm not getting any younger. Or happier.

About me

I'm Sami Jo From Denver, CO, United States Samantha loves to travel, lose herself in a good book, practice yoga at her favorite local studio, The Yoga Mat, and connect with friends, old and new. Her love of working with creative minds extends into her personal endeavors, as well. She and her husband conduct a project called "Songs For Jake," a music collaboration channel designed with the simple mission of getting great songs to one really big music lover. Through her business, Roger Charlie, Samantha focuses on publicity and management, working closely with authors, musicians, and creatives who find value in a more personal approach through communications.
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