Sleeping off the Funk

I slept the entire day. This is not an exaggeration. 

We're talking up at 11:30am, back to sleep at 12:30pm. 

Up at 3pm, back to sleep at 4:30pm, and finally up at 8:30pm.

In between, I caught slivers of serial killer

 shows on E! and what they considered to be breaking news (pop culture, of course). Obnoxious.

I must note that I have been sleeping in the oddest of positions - mostly crab-shaped, face down and burrowed into pillows. I never sleep on my stomach... Ever (Apparently, in Freefall position, I'm feeling criticized, which is dead-on with how i've been feeling about my sense of self, so there ya go - Usually I'm a Yearner).

I've been pretty low the last week or so. No reason in particular, just... how I feel. I can't explain it, I'm not going to try - and I'll leave it at that, because I'm hoping that's just something all of us go through and not some abnormal crash i've been feeling. Ebbs and flows...

I've been working hard in the dreamworld, and true to form, an old friend shows up when my self worth is lying in the gutter.  

Last night was no exception:

Living in Denver, I walked into a bar (pretty sure I was pregnant) and chatting up with friends, I find my most favorite Christopher, clean cut in a grey t-shirt and jeans and grab his shoulders to wrap my arms tightly around him.  He allowed it and we stood embraced for a very long time.  When we pulled away, he asked me who I was and what I was doing. 

We bantered back and forth for awhile, he trying to convince me he wasn't who I thought - and me arguing that "yes, you are!". I actually had convinced myself (not only in dreamworld) that his funeral last year was just a production. After probing, he finally admitted I was right, and that he did all of this so he could start a new life in Denver - that he was glad to see me, but that I could tell no one.  I got his new name... Eoin Raker (it looked like Windbreaker when written).  

We caught up - laughed, hugged. I ran to the bathroom and pulled my shirt up to make sure I was pregnant - a solid baby bump confirmed that I was showing at about six-months. Just like every other pregnancy dream, I have no idea who the dad is - but I had an odd feeling that the baby would display a lot of Christopher traits. 

I woke up and stared at the ceiling for a good 10 minutes, feeling full, but sad. I half wonder if I slept the rest of the day hoping to build off of the dream, but it was to no avail. I miss you CAB.