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No room for interpretation, apparently...

Friday, July 16, 2010
I am not sleeping again.
Instead, I'm waking up every two hours or so due to:

Uncomfortable temperatures
Maynard howling in the downstairs sunroom
Switching sides in bed (think of a flopping fish out of water)

You can rest assured, however, that it's not because of noise. Ear plugs are my new favorite invention.

When I do sleep, I dream. Vividly, and in exact conjunction with whatever is going on in my life. There's not even bizarre, random whimziness anymore. Just reality, exagerated just a bit. It's not great. I work enough in my day llife, I'd much appreciate if my subconcious would take a breather and just let me black out for a solid nine hours.

Last night brought forth pregnancy, labor, and a baby girl, which I left at home with my mom to go grab dinner with a gf while another estranged friend waited on us. Before we could talk, my mom called me saying the baby (apparently, babie(s) now - twins) wouldn't stop crying and could I please come home to feed them. I obliged, politely and took off.

What's strange about this is the dream succeeded four different wake-ups through the night. I'm pretty sure I passed out around 11 last night while reading a nick hornby book, light on. I awoke at 1:30, then 3:30, then 5:30 and well, you get the point.

An acupuncturist-in-training told me today that all those time slots correspond with organs that all relate to decision making and governing direction. He also said that my 'yin' of yin and yang is dipleted, and I should go home and eat a giant bowl of cherries and watermelon. Score.

Despite all this, I'm still in a marginally good mood, though I'm getting desperate for a good nights rest, and for some odd reason, my back is killing me.

I'd love to say I don't worry about things anymore. That things/people don't hurt me and I let things roll off my back because that's how you should be. For the most part, I try, because throwing a fit has never helped. But as a result to keeping the calm outside of myself, it seems that all of the aforementioned issues are a result of internalizing everything.

No idea how to fix this. No idea if I want to. I don't want to cause a ruckus. Butttt... Somethings gotta give.

I guess what Grad School's been teaching me (aside from that I am a horrible test-taker, I should not be in marketing, accounting or law), is that I am quite resilient. I am just longing for the time when I can relax the guard walls and, you know, live... love... sleep. like a normal person.

About me

I'm Sami Jo From Denver, CO, United States Samantha loves to travel, lose herself in a good book, practice yoga at her favorite local studio, The Yoga Mat, and connect with friends, old and new. Her love of working with creative minds extends into her personal endeavors, as well. She and her husband conduct a project called "Songs For Jake," a music collaboration channel designed with the simple mission of getting great songs to one really big music lover. Through her business, Roger Charlie, Samantha focuses on publicity and management, working closely with authors, musicians, and creatives who find value in a more personal approach through communications.
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