Conversations with Myself

I don't know how many of you really buy into that astrology bullshit (ok, i'm guilty), but I seem to think it's not that far off when I have such a difficult time making decisions.

My birthday is next Tuesday (Feb 20) - which means I START the Pisces Cycle and consequently, END the Aquarian Cycle.

For all of you that are Pisces - you know you let emotion guide everything, and that symbol of two fishes swimming in opposite direction? That's you not knowing what the hell you're doing.

Top that with the Aquarian notion to be generally thotful people - who question everything, gather facts, and move on logic - That puts me somewhere near the middle - hearing my gut, doing my reserach, deducing the pros, the cons, all consequences and scenarios - and still wondering if I'm heading in the right direction.

It's bloody OBNOXIOUS.

And a horrid character trait (flaw) that I've been dealing with full nelson for the past few weeks.

I can only explain it as traveling along a wavelength that could drop down or raise up at any moment (no i'm not bipolar). It would probably explain my decisions as of late and also why when I do make a decision, it's pretty much out of nowhere and on the fly.

I've been house shopping. I've found a beautiful place. Thing is I already have a house back home that I want to keep and rent. All is well and good and I can handle this, however I have some hesitiation with this and of course doubts that everything could, in fact not turn out best case scenario.

And so there is also the option to rent a cheap place while renting out my house, pay for all of my things to get here, and be in a small place where I have all of my things and potentially have to move it all in 6 months down the road (i hate moving - which is funny, considering I've done it consistantly for the past 6 years) - but for any of you who have owned - you know that once you do , it's really hard to go back.

However - there is in thinking that without the additional money going toward a mortgage - it could be going toward more travel, car payments, etc.... but i'm seemingly finding that my home is really important to me.

A week and a half ago I was on the verge of dropping everything and moving back home to BE in my home.
Now I'm about to go under contract.
Pretty extreme decisions.

But the thot of going with renting while someone lives in my beautiful house makes me incredibly sad... and if you really can't buy happiness - than why would one way make me so much more happy than the latter?

I'm meeting with my agent in one hour and four minutes counting - and I don't have the slightest clue which way I want to go...