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I Don't Even Like Chess

Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Managing a relationship when it's on bad terms is kind of like playing chess.

I make a move.
You respond with something equally emotive.

I make a grand gesture without winning in mind, but more for the best of both teams.
You agree - then inadvertantly blow it off (which, btw says my move was unimportant to you).
The next day, you do something completely unrelated to our game (wtf, seriously?!) - Now - unfortunately for you, I've gone to go get some Chocolate Milk... with a Straw... and a turkey sandwich... and probably a movie or five.

Hey man, this game isn't timed. You want to be prideful about this - than you can enjoy your stay in limboland.

Tick tick tick tick tick.

I'm beginning to let go of things and not be so forceful of the "why" and just accept that if things are right, they're not complicated and you can forgive and not forget. I've grown tired of spinning myself in circles and making myself sick on the words of those around me when it's always nothing to begin with.

So that's what I was doing a few moves back.

Always, always, always remember that it's not what you say, it's what you do. Words are tricks when you don't back them up with action. My trust disapears when you don't show me your intention.

I think I have made this clear now and while I didn't feel prideful, I did feel angry/hurt/disapointed - and it really came across in your intention that you just didn't... get it.

I accept (but, won't overlook) you for who you are (i'm most aware of anyone) and you should also accept that it means I don't have to deal with the things I don't agree with or enjoy.

I guess this defeats the purpose of me not 'giving in' to your pride, because I really am done with this kind of relationship. This has gotten us nowhere but circling in a ugly, habitual cycle. Part of this was me trying to save the word. Not my responsibility. I don't want to be the girl that helped mold a man into something better than his former self. I'm tired of having my gaurd up.

So Congratulations!

I've returned from my sebatical away from the table.
You win.
I'm done playing.

If you'd like to set a match for a later date, you know where to reach me.
Please make it an easier game next time.
Or just don't make it a game at all.


About me

I'm Sami Jo From Denver, CO, United States Samantha loves to travel, lose herself in a good book, practice yoga at her favorite local studio, The Yoga Mat, and connect with friends, old and new. Her love of working with creative minds extends into her personal endeavors, as well. She and her husband conduct a project called "Songs For Jake," a music collaboration channel designed with the simple mission of getting great songs to one really big music lover. Through her business, Roger Charlie, Samantha focuses on publicity and management, working closely with authors, musicians, and creatives who find value in a more personal approach through communications.
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