Not sure how to explain this exactly...

But a friend and I have been really 'off' for the entirety of the last several weeks. Every time we have gotten together, it just seems like we're in completely different parts of a book, where we're usually, effortlessly floating along at the same pace. Usually, this is the part where I throw my hands up and walk away because sometimes you just need a break.

Instead, after another completely off-putting conversation, I blurted out, "We're not very in sync lately... at all."

And they agreed. And then we moved on and everything was fine. Hahaha

I'm not sure why this struck me as strange, but I guess it gave me a sense for what it might be like to be in a marriage or serious relationship with someone. And forgive me for not getting this sooner, but I've dated only the following:

1. self-proclaimed rockstars who never considered me at all - only when it was convenient, and only amongst several other girls.

2. one manipulative, abusive mother effer who also was guilty of being too self-indulgent and immature to deal with any issue except with some mean words, yelling and breaking/hitting things...

So, that revelation is a big one, because it is a relief to know that even tho things aren't always on, if someone really does love you, they'll stick with you anyway. Those good ones are not going to just disappear on you... which i've always grasped with family, but have struggled with that security among friends. This may be the one key thing I needed to learn before i make a go at another relationship...

Which is wonderful, because i have my eye on someone. a good someone. and i think they may have their eye on me, too...