My favorite thing...
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
No, not a touching post about my 100% wool knit blanket.
Or a tribute to that Oprah issue the lady queen of america does every year.
Or Holiday.
Or living out of a suit case.
My favorite thing (*cough sarcasm*) is that thing that women do when they walk up and say "oooooh my god, I feel so fat/ugly/bloated/wrinkly/insert self-insult here: ______" and women automatically are all, "ooh, stop! you're beautiful!"
no, you stop.
just... stop.
My family is TERRIBLE at this. I can almost predict the exact response i will recieve to any minor put-down that escapes my mouth. Actually, for years, our holiday get-togethers have often felt like a bit of a fashion show. We all dress up to be pretty (i just really love dressing up to be pretty) - and when you walk in, it's almost always a given - somebody will tell you how thin you look.
Even if you have gained 20 freaking pounds.
"Oh my god, I know right! I should eat more piiiiiiie."
Guilty over here. I thought of this not because I feel fat and am fishing for compliments. But because I haven't been sleeping well. I'm convinced this is from rolling my ankle while dancing around my house in a sports bra and sweatpants to justin timberlake a few weeks ago. This, in turn, has messed up my gait, which has REALLY messed up my back. Nothing has gotten better, because i refuse to stop walking/yogaing/dancing at zumba, apparently. Long detour away from the point - I have not slept well because of the back, and I look in the mirror and have the oh-so-gorgeous black and blue under-eyes that no miracle cream could ever fix.
But, i guarantee you if I walked up to my mom, or a good friend, or anyone that isn't under the age of 8, they'd be all, "ooooh stop! you look beautiful!"
uh....no. not today, sweetie. do you want me to draw you a diagram? We can make it like when people get plastic surgery and then you can play connect the black permanent marker lines into the shape of a pooooony. *whinny*
It's no wonder we have such a hard time accepting compliments. Because we are all taught from a VERY young age to:
1. say aloud the thing we are insecure about, with just a hint of desperation, of course, so as to solicit some kind of response from anyone within ear shot.
2. wait as we anticipate feedback that 'null-and-voids' our self-bashing comment
3. take it in, even though we know it's horse shit
4. somehow feel better. i don't know why. maybe because we for one moment gained power in making someone do what we wanted. yeah... that's it. I CAN CONTROL YOUR MIIIIIIIND!
Not to say that every compliment is loaded and not genuine. But you can tell. And I guess shame on any of us for going through step #1 to make the remainder of those actions happen. I try not to - honestly, when i'm bitching about flaw a or flaw b, it's because that's how i feel, and i'm fully aware, and you are 100% okay to agree with me. For the record though, when the flaw does get better, you're also welcome to tell me how much prettier i look then when i was all broke down and breakin' mirrors. :)
Or a tribute to that Oprah issue the lady queen of america does every year.
Or Holiday.
Or living out of a suit case.
My favorite thing (*cough sarcasm*) is that thing that women do when they walk up and say "oooooh my god, I feel so fat/ugly/bloated/wrinkly/insert self-insult here: ______" and women automatically are all, "ooh, stop! you're beautiful!"
no, you stop.
just... stop.
My family is TERRIBLE at this. I can almost predict the exact response i will recieve to any minor put-down that escapes my mouth. Actually, for years, our holiday get-togethers have often felt like a bit of a fashion show. We all dress up to be pretty (i just really love dressing up to be pretty) - and when you walk in, it's almost always a given - somebody will tell you how thin you look.
Even if you have gained 20 freaking pounds.
"Oh my god, I know right! I should eat more piiiiiiie."
Guilty over here. I thought of this not because I feel fat and am fishing for compliments. But because I haven't been sleeping well. I'm convinced this is from rolling my ankle while dancing around my house in a sports bra and sweatpants to justin timberlake a few weeks ago. This, in turn, has messed up my gait, which has REALLY messed up my back. Nothing has gotten better, because i refuse to stop walking/yogaing/dancing at zumba, apparently. Long detour away from the point - I have not slept well because of the back, and I look in the mirror and have the oh-so-gorgeous black and blue under-eyes that no miracle cream could ever fix.
But, i guarantee you if I walked up to my mom, or a good friend, or anyone that isn't under the age of 8, they'd be all, "ooooh stop! you look beautiful!"
uh....no. not today, sweetie. do you want me to draw you a diagram? We can make it like when people get plastic surgery and then you can play connect the black permanent marker lines into the shape of a pooooony. *whinny*
It's no wonder we have such a hard time accepting compliments. Because we are all taught from a VERY young age to:
1. say aloud the thing we are insecure about, with just a hint of desperation, of course, so as to solicit some kind of response from anyone within ear shot.
2. wait as we anticipate feedback that 'null-and-voids' our self-bashing comment
3. take it in, even though we know it's horse shit
4. somehow feel better. i don't know why. maybe because we for one moment gained power in making someone do what we wanted. yeah... that's it. I CAN CONTROL YOUR MIIIIIIIND!
Not to say that every compliment is loaded and not genuine. But you can tell. And I guess shame on any of us for going through step #1 to make the remainder of those actions happen. I try not to - honestly, when i'm bitching about flaw a or flaw b, it's because that's how i feel, and i'm fully aware, and you are 100% okay to agree with me. For the record though, when the flaw does get better, you're also welcome to tell me how much prettier i look then when i was all broke down and breakin' mirrors. :)
posted by Sami Jo at 12:03 AM
I'm Sami Jo
From Denver, CO, United States
I'm from Denver, CO. I love to travel - both alone and with friends - explore new places and really learn the personality of a city. I own my own PR firm and offer support to creative professionals including authors, musicians and small business. My husband writes and performs live music (often for kids at local libraries in town), and we have a little boy who loves to travel as much as we do.