No smell, no love?
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I'm at this bizarre crossroads. I really thought I was ready to date again, but after only three weeks of signing up for an online dating site (I PAID for it, and thus feel like I need to participate), I'm mostly just pissed that I have this extra thing to manage that I now, don't really care about.
I'm questioning everything about the whole human quest to find love, saddle up and call it good. I'm sure this is something everyone going on 30 thinks about, but I've thought about it so much that I just don't even consider 'finding love' as a concern or goal I'm striving toward anymore. I've leaned more toward going with my gut, and when it's right it's right, if it's not... don't dwell. And I can get away with that now at 29... 30. But what happens if i'm 45 and still saying that? Still alone? I just... wouldn't be surprised anymore.
Why? Well, let's do a list (cause this girl likes lists):
1. I've always heard that 95% of attraction is based on pharamones/smell. And If I have no sense of smell - then do I ever really stand a chance?
2. Despite my sucky sniffer, I'm still convinced I've already found it. Nay - my heart AND GUT are convinced (my brain is still trying to talk them out of it for my well-being). What I recently realized is that it doesn't really matter how I feel if the other person isn't / or is never going to get there. Granted, there's more than one 'one' out there for all of us (or so 'they' say) - but after a decade of looking - I'm not really hopeful.
3. Given #1 and #2, I can't honestly see settling down with someone for 40+ years and not getting mondo-annoyed with them. It seems like this quest for love is just something for all of us to talk and cry and dance around about, just so that we can end up in a relationship / marriage / partnership where we are frustrated and feeling like we have to work too hard at maintaining a happy lifestyle.
I have to think they don't just make up all the beautiful films they do on romance if it didn't at one time ACTUALLY occur. You know what writer's are best at: Writing what they know.
Well this is what I know:
I asked my mom a month or so ago, "have you ever been in love?"
Her response?: "Oh yes, lots of times. It's easy to love."
Hmm... I must have missed that gene when little baby sami was made... *sigh*
I'm questioning everything about the whole human quest to find love, saddle up and call it good. I'm sure this is something everyone going on 30 thinks about, but I've thought about it so much that I just don't even consider 'finding love' as a concern or goal I'm striving toward anymore. I've leaned more toward going with my gut, and when it's right it's right, if it's not... don't dwell. And I can get away with that now at 29... 30. But what happens if i'm 45 and still saying that? Still alone? I just... wouldn't be surprised anymore.
Why? Well, let's do a list (cause this girl likes lists):
1. I've always heard that 95% of attraction is based on pharamones/smell. And If I have no sense of smell - then do I ever really stand a chance?
2. Despite my sucky sniffer, I'm still convinced I've already found it. Nay - my heart AND GUT are convinced (my brain is still trying to talk them out of it for my well-being). What I recently realized is that it doesn't really matter how I feel if the other person isn't / or is never going to get there. Granted, there's more than one 'one' out there for all of us (or so 'they' say) - but after a decade of looking - I'm not really hopeful.
3. Given #1 and #2, I can't honestly see settling down with someone for 40+ years and not getting mondo-annoyed with them. It seems like this quest for love is just something for all of us to talk and cry and dance around about, just so that we can end up in a relationship / marriage / partnership where we are frustrated and feeling like we have to work too hard at maintaining a happy lifestyle.
I have to think they don't just make up all the beautiful films they do on romance if it didn't at one time ACTUALLY occur. You know what writer's are best at: Writing what they know.
Well this is what I know:
I asked my mom a month or so ago, "have you ever been in love?"
Her response?: "Oh yes, lots of times. It's easy to love."
Hmm... I must have missed that gene when little baby sami was made... *sigh*
posted by Sami Jo at 12:32 AM
I'm Sami Jo
From Denver, CO, United States
I'm from Denver, CO. I love to travel - both alone and with friends - explore new places and really learn the personality of a city. I own my own PR firm and offer support to creative professionals including authors, musicians and small business. My husband writes and performs live music (often for kids at local libraries in town), and we have a little boy who loves to travel as much as we do.