boots & madness

got new pwetty boots today :) been spending every waking minute with maddy. life is good in dakota

Bake bake

Just made up a sour cream coffee cake with chocolate cinnamon sugar for thanksgiving breakfast tomorrow morning...

then tried a hand at some ginger cookies...

i hope my future hubby has a fast metabolism, cause i ain't lettin' up.

The puffy chested man species

I've had two men in the last month walk beside me, arm and arm, and when they thread their arm through mine, they puffed up with pride, like "i'm attached to this girl, and damn i am proud." it's really rather cute... :)

Beirut & Dr. Dog

enjoying. muchly... maybe you should, too (thanks sre and kp!).

Twelve

I made this list of 28 for this year, and it's kind of come to a screeching halt the last month, being so busy with school and all. I have been consistent with walking (we're about 100 miles from hitting the 1,000 mark) and a few other things on there, as well. Only nine have been completed, while five more are nearing completion, and five others are winter activities, so it makes sense that they haven't been accomplished just yet.

So... basically, i have 3 months to finish 10-14 things. Ha! We'll see...

The main point of bringing this all up, however, is #12 on the list:

Read 12 books.

I rationed one book a month, figuring that was more than attainable. But factor in reading and papers for grad school, then socializing and networking and all of the wonderful shows i see for free thanks to AEG and i'm not left much time for leisurely reading. I've only made it through four and a half... and the half that i started was in July, so... this does not look promising.

I may just read ONE DAY eight more times, because of how much it fills me up. And tears me down, a bit, too. London has so much significance for me. It seems only appropriate that I happened upon this book while at the train station there.

I curled up on the train from London to Liverpool, and again in the hotel bathtub that was sunken into a dark wood base, much like an old boat. I dove in searching for answers to my own life. To relate. To try and understand. Nothing has measured up since...

Lifehouse

Amazing live. I knew they were great live from some acoustic recordings I have from 2002, but had no idea. They put on a pretty killer show, and are sweethearts to boot. Jason Wade played some solo acoustic stuff in the middle, as well - including Simon, which I never thought in a million years he'd do. Month made!

When I figure out how the hell to get the video off the phone, it'll promptly be up! Until then, here's a full-recording:

Man, that album got me through a whole lot of rough. Especially this song. Judge all you want, but boy's got chops.

Up next this week:

KT Tunstall on Tuesday (hello one-woman, looping wonder who just spent a large chunk of time over on Iceland with scientists and musicians studying global warming)

Brandon Flowers (Killers) and Fran Healy (Travis) Thursday

Ozomatli Friday. Busbee!!!

But lots of reward for all the hard work on papers... yip skip!

Blue Valentine

Beautiful, funny, hits' the heart. Ryan starts singing with that beard and I physically can't handle it. But, part of me got extremely sad.

A bit because the ex boy looks a lot like Ryan's character in this film (and i am constnatly reminded of this via daily e-mails and photos... come on!) and it felt almost like a glimpse into the good and bad we shared, as well as the life we would have lived together (right decision made in the grand scheme).

And...a bit of sadness comes from a question asked in the film, "how do you know when you're in love? and how do you trust your feelings when they change so easily?"

I know love. Unconditional love. But never have I had the chance to share that with a man, and so the angry part of me questions why it's been nearly 29-years and nothing. Where the fuck are you?

The graceful, patient me has been through some interesting experiences in my twenties and I am confused, yet wiser for all of it. I'm told I am wonderful, funny, beautiful, smart. I'm finally starting to believe it. I am swooped up and held in high regard, and just as quickly as it's came, the man disappears into thin air.

This used to make me cry. This used to make me debate for days "Why this, why that, I don't understand." And why not? Girls are told from a young age that a man will just come along and save her. What about those of us that never needed to be saved? What about those of us who are independent and strong and good enough on our own? Why is that threatening? Why is that a red flag to run like a dog between the legs? Instead of questioning anymore, I let it go and chose to leave it alone, because a real man wouldn't have handled it that way. He would have had the courage to put on some damn sunglasses and stand in my light. Simple as that.

But the population of real men is waning. Every time I find a glimmer of hope, I'm always let down. You tell me how I don't swing to the side of "man-hater' when this happens over and over again. And how every time I even step into the realm of possibility of something great, I STEP into it, terrified that all the work i've done to become the fun, loving, wonderful me doesn't shatter in the process. But at least I have the courage. At least I'm not jaded and bitter and ugly. Men, I still love you, but I just can't give you the credit when accounting for bravery. All I need is just one good one... just one, to be courageous enough. Be honest enough. Be himself. I do it every day. Why is it so hard for man?

tooooooo stagnant

one week sick and that means time for nothing but bed and the occasional trip to class/aeg for some work (albiet trudging through a bit like a zombie). sooooooo... you know what else that means?

no walkage. i feel squishy.

i felt good enough to head out for a WONDERFUL night with some of my best good ones, so i feel well enough to go walk for two hours when i wake up in the morning... bring it.

fin

October has been absolutely ridiculous. going and going and going and i finally get a chance to stop Saturday night and guess what?

boom... roasted.

i came down hard core with some sick. and as always, went straight to my throat. all of you who may come face to face with tonsil removal some day, be aware (because your doctor won't mention this) that if you choose to remove your friendly little bacterial blocking friends, the next time you get an infection, the pain will be 10fold because it sneaks past the home of the former goalies (who are now in a lab somewhere) and jumps straight to the bottom of your throat - right near the lymph nodes. awesome. :) all i want are a million popsicles, but i ain't leavin' the house.

on the upside, i'm cracking up because my body has been courteous enough to comply with my schedule, as it waited until there was an acceptable time for it to bring this on. thanks, body.

I had today off, and tomorrow I can easily cancel the plans that I do have (including class).

So for now, just taking the opportunity to have a Bones marathon, sleep like a kitten and you know, hope that a friend shows up to my house with a 24-pack of rocket popsicles... :)