Word/Object Association

Have I ever written about this?

Never?

Wierd.

I suppose when you get used to things being a certain way, you don't encourage people to ask more questions.



I have no sense of smell.

I think I've told pretty much everyone I've ever come across in my lifetime - mostly because there comes a time when someone stuffs something in front of my face and tells me to "Smell this! It's Amazing!!!!"

On my 11th Birthday, I brought my best friend Nelly Tilly up to my Aunt Melanie's Cabin in Spearfish Canyon for a sleepover, carrot cake with blueberry frosting and homemade pizza's at Melanie's Kitchen (Her Kitchen Island over which I would play customer, and she would play chef).

In true Sami-Fashion, By the end of the first night, I had paynes of wanting to be in two places at once, cried for an hour about wanting to go home, only to end up having a blast and sticking it out (i still do this... and it's a whole other subject. so annoying).

When we woke up the next morning, my uncle adorned my name in chocolate chips on pancakes and for the rest of the afternoon, we worked on swinging (they had a swing in her house), laughing and card tricks.

Halfway through the day, My aunt decided to whip out her old apothecary case and do a little smell testing.

I think after going through about eight viles of everyone else saying "Woah. Saphron" "Woah, Ginger!" "Woah, this lilac is so strong!" and me staring blankly at the floor - i realized that my sniffer just wasn't sniffin'.

I wrote it off for a few years... then when I was in high school, my mom took me in for an MRI to make sure there wasn't some obscene tumor not only obstructing my sense of smell, but waiting to clear my life completely. No dice... and so the problem has never been fixed.

Now, this can either go one of two ways:

1. Really awesome...!
2.Not really awesome!

Let me elaborate:

1a. I'm every man's dream. You can blow ass, take horrendous dumps, not shower for days and rub your stinky feet all over the viscinity of my nose and--- nothing. Dutch Oven My ass, Bitch. You're the one who will Suffer. Mwa ha ha ha ha.

1b. The carpet cleaners scowered our hallways in Sechrist Hall my Freshman year and everyone on our floor could barely function... I was skipping to the loo and cookin up salmon.

1c. I have cats. 'nough said.

on the flip side...

2a. I am every man's downfall. I actually went on a date with a guy who had gotten very dolled up. When i told him he probably smelled good, but I wouldn't be able to tell - he turned around and drove me home because he thought I was lying. If you make a special effort, it's lost on me...

2b. Say my house catches on fire while i'm sleeping and I have no one with me to shake me awake... I'm pretty much fucked!

2c. I'm smelly magilicutty. You know... come to think of it - i've never worn deoderant a day in my life- and never had a problem. But If I reak like hell and have no one around that i trust to tell me otherwise, i could for see a mass amount of embarassment.

2d. Cookies, Baby heads, cake, chicken, scented oils, massage oil, candles, lotion (the main forgetfullness of all of my friends who always want me to share in how wonderful their new item smells) and food, food, food... you get the point.

Aside from looking and feeling nice,Bath and Body Works, Victoria's Secret, Melt, Flowers for any reason other than to cheer me up - looks sweet on my pub table .... are all lost on me.

I suppose the reason I love Peppermint so much is because I can catch a whiff when inserted nearly into one nostril - and Rain is amazing because it smells... Cold. But I equate Cold to Fresh and Fresh is great (kind of like FeBreeze, which is the best invention ever, because i have to think that whatever is coming out of that can really is de-odorizing everything so that it feels clean when i touch it).

So now that you have background - the main point of all of this...

I feel like I sort of was jipped on the whole smell association thing of which all humans have been so pleasantly blessed.

I.e.Any particular scent makes you think of a pleasant/unpleasant person, place or thing.

I think this why I'm so tactile. I touch everything. And I have wierd associations.

I actually have an entire three pages in my 2002 journal on how I associate the pain of my ingrown toenail to Nestle's hot chocolate with bunny marshmallows and visa versa (posted tomorrow - because it's hilarious).

Oddly enough, I can still taste (Hyposmia) - but I can't inhale a smell through my mouth and try to proccess the smell through my taste buds... I'm not sure why I'd even want to.

I honestly wish I would have found out a lot sooner - because my family has this cruel joke of placing some bizarre substance in your face and telling you to smell it before smashing it into your face... i can't even count the number of times I ended up with butter, ice cream or pumpkin pie stuck to my nose/cheeks.

So I'm asking all of you... who are around me on a regular basis to expand your word/object association a bit further, and associate "Sami/Samantha/Sam" with "HAS NO SENSE OF SMELL" so that next time we're out at the mall shopping for bubble bath, you dont' f'ing ask me to tell you what I think. :)