A Charlie Brown Weekend - or - Best of ...
Monday, March 19, 2007
Rough weekend. Designing the house to sell, and after hard labor all weekend, i spill a quart of paint all over the back of my new car... which added about 3 hours to my work slate and put me back into denver around 1:30 this morning.
God bless my parents because the paint was pretty much the one thing that threw me over the edge of an already Charlie Brown/Murphy's Law kind of a weekend. My stepdad solved some major issues at the house, and was there helping me scrub out all the paint and pull my car entirely apart when i showed up at 5pm for dinner, losing my shit and beating myself up for being such an idiot.
Mom: "Well, the good news is Jake ate all of his dinner and dessert. And he and Brandon are on the couch watching Star Wars."
Me: "Meanwhile, outside - your chaotic child..."
We laughed. They're always good about looking at the positive and not making anything a huge deal.
Today i'm exhausted, but laughing really hard because johnny m. reminded me that there is a best of craigslist- and there are some really funny-ass people out there.
Here are a few of my favorites:
#1 Let us Frolic in my Totally Dope Blanket Fort
Date: 2007-03-09, 10:31am CST
Yes, I know what you're saying,"dude, that blanket fort sucks." That would not be the first time I've heard such a short-sighted criticism. Its structural integrity is dubious at best and there isn't a whole lot of headroom. But c'mon, it's not like I'm a freakin' architect or anything. Besides, this little baby is just a prototype. I have vast resources of cushions for anchoring and blankets in order to maximize square footage. My living room is just waiting to be turned into a totally sweet labyrinth of love.
I am very open to suggestions in respect to design and construction, as I'd like this fort to be a shared vision. Much like the Taj Mahal, its intended that this little beauty will be inspired by a very special lady. Once our shelter is erected, we can move in and work on some of our higher order needs. Or we could just order a pizza and tell ghost stries. Please email me with a picture if you want to be invited to this living room party. It will be sweet.
P.S.: I'm alllowed to have sleepovers.
Location: Living Room
I would totally date this guy on the following grounds:
1. He built a fort. Way to my heart = keep your childlike wonder. I LOVE forts!
2. He did the "rawk" hand gesture in front of the fort. hilarious.
3. Look at this dude's livingroom. Great taste.
4. He is grammatically correct. Plus he uses words like "Dubious," "Sweet," and "Structural Integrity" haha.
5. Any guy that's up for pizza and ghost stories as opposed to a drunken night out at the bar just to take me home and "woops!" accidently had sex - "no really! I had no idea this would happen!" - awesome.
I should move to Chicago... haha.
#2Couch - Very Uncomfortable, Red - $3.75
Date: 2007-03-01, 11:01PM MST
Hello. Here is my couch.
I hate this couch and it needs to get ouf of my house. It is the worst couch I have ever seen. I sat on it and now I'm in a back brace. I let my dog have the couch, but then he died on it, so I don't really need it anymore. I miss my dog and I hate this couch.
I'm asking $3.75 for the couch because that's how much Buck's favorite chew toy cost me each month. However, I'll consider other offers. I would just throw this couch into the river, but I hurt my back sitting on the couch.
A little more about the couch:
I bought it 3 months ago.
I paid $900
It came from this swanky furniture place.
I hate the couch.
It is uncomfortable and will probably put you in a back brace.
Location: Denver
Tough three months - but the "I saw on it and now i'm in a back brace" gets me. I'd like a follow-up this summer by whoever had the gall to buy it.
#3Will pay to catch your cold!
Date: 2006-11-27, 10:24PM EST
It's a long story, but I need to be down with a cold by the end of this week. If you have a cold, I will literally pay you to cough all over me. Not a joke.
Ha. Must be trying to get out of a bad date... Reminds me of an episode of friends where Phoebe's is licking a coffee cup infested with germs to get her sexy smelly cat voice.
#4Anyone ever been caught...
Date: 2006-07-27, 1:34PM CDT
...doing the most private of private things?
Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on. There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minutes later, she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal.
We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the Simpsons.
I don't really know what else to say.
Location: Chicago
I'm pretty sure John passed this my way, as well. I remember one time my Freshman year, I walked in on my friend with her hand down her pants... and I did the same thing. What else do you do? "Let's sit down and talk about this..." hahahaha. I imagine I'd hope someone do the same thing if they walked in on me doing something equally as strange.... unless, of course, it was a hot dude. And then I expect you carpe diem that shit.
Go find your own favorites...
Or make your own - clearly it's the perfect outlet for fury or embarassment. :)
Cheers.
God bless my parents because the paint was pretty much the one thing that threw me over the edge of an already Charlie Brown/Murphy's Law kind of a weekend. My stepdad solved some major issues at the house, and was there helping me scrub out all the paint and pull my car entirely apart when i showed up at 5pm for dinner, losing my shit and beating myself up for being such an idiot.
Mom: "Well, the good news is Jake ate all of his dinner and dessert. And he and Brandon are on the couch watching Star Wars."
Me: "Meanwhile, outside - your chaotic child..."
We laughed. They're always good about looking at the positive and not making anything a huge deal.
Today i'm exhausted, but laughing really hard because johnny m. reminded me that there is a best of craigslist- and there are some really funny-ass people out there.
Here are a few of my favorites:
#1 Let us Frolic in my Totally Dope Blanket Fort
Date: 2007-03-09, 10:31am CST
Yes, I know what you're saying,"dude, that blanket fort sucks." That would not be the first time I've heard such a short-sighted criticism. Its structural integrity is dubious at best and there isn't a whole lot of headroom. But c'mon, it's not like I'm a freakin' architect or anything. Besides, this little baby is just a prototype. I have vast resources of cushions for anchoring and blankets in order to maximize square footage. My living room is just waiting to be turned into a totally sweet labyrinth of love.
I am very open to suggestions in respect to design and construction, as I'd like this fort to be a shared vision. Much like the Taj Mahal, its intended that this little beauty will be inspired by a very special lady. Once our shelter is erected, we can move in and work on some of our higher order needs. Or we could just order a pizza and tell ghost stries. Please email me with a picture if you want to be invited to this living room party. It will be sweet.
P.S.: I'm alllowed to have sleepovers.
Location: Living Room
I would totally date this guy on the following grounds:
1. He built a fort. Way to my heart = keep your childlike wonder. I LOVE forts!
2. He did the "rawk" hand gesture in front of the fort. hilarious.
3. Look at this dude's livingroom. Great taste.
4. He is grammatically correct. Plus he uses words like "Dubious," "Sweet," and "Structural Integrity" haha.
5. Any guy that's up for pizza and ghost stories as opposed to a drunken night out at the bar just to take me home and "woops!" accidently had sex - "no really! I had no idea this would happen!" - awesome.
I should move to Chicago... haha.
#2Couch - Very Uncomfortable, Red - $3.75
Date: 2007-03-01, 11:01PM MST
Hello. Here is my couch.
I hate this couch and it needs to get ouf of my house. It is the worst couch I have ever seen. I sat on it and now I'm in a back brace. I let my dog have the couch, but then he died on it, so I don't really need it anymore. I miss my dog and I hate this couch.
I'm asking $3.75 for the couch because that's how much Buck's favorite chew toy cost me each month. However, I'll consider other offers. I would just throw this couch into the river, but I hurt my back sitting on the couch.
A little more about the couch:
I bought it 3 months ago.
I paid $900
It came from this swanky furniture place.
I hate the couch.
It is uncomfortable and will probably put you in a back brace.
Location: Denver
Tough three months - but the "I saw on it and now i'm in a back brace" gets me. I'd like a follow-up this summer by whoever had the gall to buy it.
#3Will pay to catch your cold!
Date: 2006-11-27, 10:24PM EST
It's a long story, but I need to be down with a cold by the end of this week. If you have a cold, I will literally pay you to cough all over me. Not a joke.
Ha. Must be trying to get out of a bad date... Reminds me of an episode of friends where Phoebe's is licking a coffee cup infested with germs to get her sexy smelly cat voice.
#4Anyone ever been caught...
Date: 2006-07-27, 1:34PM CDT
...doing the most private of private things?
Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on. There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minutes later, she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal.
We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the Simpsons.
I don't really know what else to say.
Location: Chicago
I'm pretty sure John passed this my way, as well. I remember one time my Freshman year, I walked in on my friend with her hand down her pants... and I did the same thing. What else do you do? "Let's sit down and talk about this..." hahahaha. I imagine I'd hope someone do the same thing if they walked in on me doing something equally as strange.... unless, of course, it was a hot dude. And then I expect you carpe diem that shit.
Go find your own favorites...
Or make your own - clearly it's the perfect outlet for fury or embarassment. :)
Cheers.
posted by Sami Jo at 9:19 AM
I'm Sami Jo
From Denver, CO, United States
I'm from Denver, CO. I love to travel - both alone and with friends - explore new places and really learn the personality of a city. I own my own PR firm and offer support to creative professionals including authors, musicians and small business. My husband writes and performs live music (often for kids at local libraries in town), and we have a little boy who loves to travel as much as we do.