My Super Sweet Sixteen

Talk about snotty.
"Like, Oh my gawd! I got a car! I soooo totally did not expect that!"

I've been shopping for cars (via my sweet ass birthday present from my parents this year, as they are helping me to purchase, since my altima has kind of started crapping out over the last year).

I've picked the model - and the day I went to the dealership, they just happened to have the exact car I was looking for. Beautiful - drove great - but i wanted to work them down a little in price. By the time we had finally worked everything out and I called back and they had just sold the car 1 hour previous.

DAMMIT!

So i went for alternates... A car of a different color - the car with the same color without all wheel drive. I called back again and again and again:

"Yeah.. we just sold those both last night."

NOOOOOO.

This is where I start to understand the bitchy teenage syndromes when snottypants mcgirk and 'daddy' go to pick out a new BMW because dammit - i just want my car!

I'm not sure why I can't buy car's like an Ipod/Apple computer. Why can't I build in what I want - you say "here you go" and deliver it to my door? If I'm shelling out a big chunk of change - why can't I have it the way I want it?

You'd think it'd make sense. The few dealerships I've visited I've tried to actively dodge all the slimey car guys - I did find one that was great - and then another, not so great - who literally lied to me and then tried to sell me a car that clearly wasn't right. Are you that desperate to meet your quota you'd really'd cut the price down $4500!??! That shocks me.

Anyway - one guy, who called me Sweetheart - found the one I want down in... Pueblo I think, so I'm going to see if I can work them down to my price range and swing a deal. I'm getting my hair colored tomorrow - maybe I'll go uber blonde so they can underestimate me. Luckily - I've had my time to research... and share of shopping...

Craziest day ever. Luckily I have awesome bosses that take my coworker(s) and I to movies midafternoon once in awhile (I had to barter Chocolate). The Number 23... odd - bizarre... can't tell if i like it yet or not. I didn't hate it.

I think I'll try out Babel on Thursday.

Tomorrow is crazy as well - and I forsee a hilarious seen when a guy drops this off for me while i'm getting my hair did up in foils and shtuff. Amen for having designed a logo for this sweet ass hair stylist so that i can get a bustin deal (can we see tip pay only?) saweeeet. :)

Also... I'm considering getting a little white furball kitten. Would this make me a scary cat lady to ring in at three?

Rock it Like Pat Benetar

An old friend recently posted the above picture and it reminded me of quite possibly, the easiest "independent" time of my life.

Of course we have senior year of high school, second semester where I attended class(s) from 10 - 12:30 (serving as Photo Lab Assistant 2 days per week), not working - basically hanging out - but I don't constitute 18 and living with your parents very independent.

And so that photo is circa May 2003: The summer I wish I would have stayed the F in Flagstaff. I'm telling you - hanging around crude Mr. Horan and Simison was actually setting up to be a pretty hilarious summer. Plus the Monsoons...

I had ONE (Count it ONE) Summer Course where I would go to "Journalistic Editing 201" on South Campus from 9:30-11:30 five days a week for three weeks straight (which is still how I believe all classes should be structured year round). I lived in some Sophomore dorm smack dab in the middle of campus with no roomates - just a huge ass room to myself.

I befriended this Casey dude in class (who was also a Pisces) and we would walk to Coldstone about twice a week and talk about relationship shit and all that other cool stuff. He was really cool... i'm wondering what happened to him...

When I was out, J and Jeda bones would pick my ass up at my dorm and we'd:
a: drive to Vegas for Spur of the Moment Concerts
b: go eat chineese food and hang out with awesome musicians
c: go to the raging homosexual dude at the hair salon [J (used to?) perm his hair] and get beautified
d: drive out to the middle of nowhere in a Safari van and find untreaded territory and cool spots in bizarre Flagstaff Locations (one including a gorgeous Rainforrest area - which is still one of my favorites)

Man... seriously - fun! That above photo was actually taken at the Mogollon Brew(me thinks?) with Michael Kelsey who, to this day, is still one of the coolest guys I know (i'll forever me his Flag Merch Girl). Humble, Talented, and cool enough to construct a platform in his van under which to store his music equipment, as well as store a blow up matress on top of - so that he never had to intrude on people for a place to stay.

I'm just thinking now:compared to working 45+ hours per week - worrying about mortgages, a crapped-out car - how to afford this, how to afford that, how to knock it all down with a wiffle ball bat - and it makes me feel like all you people in college have got it real damn good - and i hope you enjoy it (but don't take advantage of it for like, 8 years...). I miss living in a quaint room with nothing but my favorite clothes, and my computer - I was never home - I was out having fun. All the time in the world to work out - bring sexy back and take naps in the afternoon.

I hope you realize - and hopefully aren't drinking it away into a murky fuzz (well, not every day, at least).

Keeping on Topic

SNOPE OF THE WEEK!

Transvestites

What a beautiful creature.

I think I was first aware of them when I read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil I don't read books too often any more (unlike my 5 star member status in Book It when i was younger), but when i get a good one, it usually sticks.

Situated in Savannah, GA in the early 80s, the book is based on real-life events surrounding the murder of playboy Danny Hansford (i love this: characterized as a "good time not yet had by all"). Jim Behrendt (the author) heads down to Savanah nearly a year after to get the skinny and yeilds a really good book.

Considering the deep south an overtly conservative locale, one character, in particular stood out: Lady Chablis.

Whenever I read a page with her script, my brain automatically slowed my speach to a sweet, black lull. I had imagined what she could be like, and was blown away when the movie debuted in 1997 (it sucked, btw) with the actual Lady Chablis starring as herself. I know you can usually spot a man dressed in drag from a mile away, but it still baffles me beyond all recognition how Miss Chablis had maintained a more petite, feminine body than most women I know.

She set a high bar of standards when considering Transvestites in the future (who knew).

I saw my first, real-live, in-person mangirl just after my 23rd birthday at the Snakepit. I was slightly buzzed in the bathroom listening to a girlfriend rattle on about a relationship she had had (or not had) with my current boss when a tall, buxom blonde with a 9 o'clock shadow walked in to adjust his/her pantyhose. I was enamoured with her vibe. I felt like I was looking back on myself at the age of 12, changing in front of 20 other girls for gym class.

Are my boobs too big? My gut's fat. Look at her stretchmarks. Look at my stretch marks. I wonder if anyone noticed my thighs...

I could see the second-guessing... the slight uncomfortableness for her being in the girl's restroom (cool trick, guys). Kind of like she knew we knew she was a little out of place, but no one was going to say shit. Then she adjusted her wig, reapplied her lipstick and strolled out behind me in short skirt and heels, martini in hand (because ladies drank free) and posed by the DJ booth. It made the insecure girl part of me totally want to be friends with this chic who had balls (literally) enough to say f' it and do her thing.

I'm sure most of you in big cities are thinking - where have you been? We've got this her, her and the list goes on to make this seem very common... but coming from rural South Dakota where Gay is a four-letter word and African American's are ratio-ed about 1:50,000, I'm not suprised.

My bestie even mentioned she spotted one in little Rapid City, SD.
Ladies... we love ya!

Fatty Fatty 2x4

Happy Birthday To...

ME!



It doesn't really feel like a birthday today. Maybe that's the curse of hitting 25... but I've had birthday love from all over the globe, so I very much appreciate all the showed love. you are all so sweet! Maybe I should go rent a sweet car just for the hell of it to feel a little more advanced into the new age bracket.

Let's see... topic of the day...

I'm trying to come to terms with a few things. My need to attach myself to things that I really should move on from... I've been attached to my house because it's my first one and it has served me well - but would it really be so bad to sell it and spend some extra dough-age on some sweet home decore? Um no... it could be put into my new home someday down the road... I was just thinking I'd still go along with the whole buying here -but if I'm on an interest only plan and sell in two years - how am i going to even be sure that I'll be able to pay all of the closing costs and real estate fees?

Crap...

It's too bad this place is just gorgeous as hell. It's too bad now I'm emotionally invested. But what's not too bad is that I'm working with people I really trust in this and so I know they have my back and I won't be blowing any huge dollars on figuring this out...

All in all i'm wondering - what's the big deal? I have numerous friends who have multi-gajilion dollar debts due to school loans. I got lucky and missed that boat. I am virtually debt free, minus my home back in sodak and my cutie little scooter. My frame of thot right now is to save, save, SAVE --- but also not to spend my money unwisely. I wish rent was $400 everywhere and then i'd never give it second thot. Hurrah! Worry free commitment (so good at that...).

I'm not sure here... I thot I could end up doing it all (i seem to want to jampack all life experiences into a 2 year period) and now may end up with nothing... but am starting to think nothing may not be so bad as I'd be obligation free/no debt draggin me down. I'm not sure --- I haven't gotten much advice on it, save my mother sending me articles from Suze Orman on whether to rent/buy because I can tell she's just as concerned as I am...

I hate the what ifs...dod gammit. I sit on different sides every hour on the hour.

What if I win the HGTV Dream home? hahahaha. Problems be gone! How likely would they be to give that house to 1: someone who lives 1 hour away from the winnings and 2: is 25 flippin years old. (not... likely - but who knows... i did win 2 vacuum cleaners off of the Game Show Network when I was 16. mwa. ha)

I can't reiterate this enough - i hate the 20s. Today is pivitol - I am halfway finished. Hurrah! God bless the years that are going to really form and shape who I am - but cursed be they because they are so difficult.

I just want to have fun already...maybe I should stop trying to be so damn adult... who has a $400/month rental for me... hmmm? HMM!? ;)

Quarterlife Crisis

I haven't been buying into John Mayer's mantra. I think it gets better every year - the more you're challenged - the more you grow - the more great things you do in life.

But last night at about 4 am I was still trying to get some sleep while my mind wouldn't stop racing from yesterday's discovery.

I was incredibly sad to find that while I was away, my heat in my cute little home stopped working (even though the pilot light it still flying at warp speed) and also, that none of my water was on.

After a few calls to the water company, and having a long, long, loonnng talk with my neighbor (he's about 75 and retired - and sells everything known to man out of his garage, and onto his lawn) that my pipes in my bathroom had burst due to extremely freezing temperatures.

The Good Side:
*No damage was done to the inside of my house.
*My nieghbor called it in as soon as he saw the problem - hence, damage was minimized.
*No water bill for February (wooo!).

The Bad Side:
*I can't tell how bad the damage is (a.k.a. how much money is about to come out of my pocket) because the pipe that burst is hidden behind my shower wall. I can't fathom ripping that out and finding anything that exciting...
*The water is off...
*I'm completely dumbfounded on heat.
*I'll have to deal with this while in a completely different state.
*I was working on closing on a new home - and now I'm wondering if that's the brightest decision. I can't fathom renting out my home, then renting someone elses, only to feel like I again, have no ownership (i hate that. you will too after you own a home) - Before I was considering on selling one and moving into the other - and now i'm just considering giving up contract on my cute rowhome in D-town and selling my pride and joy here in Sodak. Clearly, it hasn't felt that great for the last four months living in a tiny one-bedroom while my house is left to be unenjoyed/not taken care of.

My heart is hurting. My birthday is tomorrow. My parents got me a neat present, and I should be celebrating entrance into another year. Instead, I'm up til 4:30am hyperventilating, blowing liquids out both nostrils and eyes and trying to understand how the hell I'm going to get through this ok when i'm having trouble even breathing. I hate to throw in the towel when things get rough --- you push through the hard shit and are rewarded all the better - in life lessons and in effort. But oooh, my gawwddd... I am NOT ok right now!

I didn't really used to be this bad about stress... I can't think this is good news for my shoulders/neck. I feel like collapsing and staying in bed for a week. No motion doesn't solve anything. I can hear the strong women/men in my life saying "get it handled - just get your stuff done and it will be fine" - but I don't feel fine. I feel like I"m having that Quarterlife Crisis. I feel like a Loser.

Why can't i be more logical than emotional?

Striptease

I just spent the last two hours with my favorite girl workin it out to Carmen Electra's Striptease and Hip Hop Aerobics.

Let's not lie to ourselves. Anyone who knows me knows my inner sexpot is pretty heavy... so any chance I get to show it off without being completely slutty is always welcome.

Too much fun. There are a lot of chicks that could try and pull of this series and fail horribly - but Carmen is cute and has got the OK from Prince... I'm starting to wonder how old she is - but regardless, she's f'ing hot. I've been out dancing a lot lately and reminded of how much I love it. I've even enlisted Dance Breaks during television commercial break. This of course consists of Young MC "Bust a Move," Bel Biv Devoe "Poison" and TONS of the new Justin Timberlake.

Chizeck it - and if I were cool enough or had enough time to paste my head on Carmen's body like Tom Bergeron on AFV (my favorite show ever - what a geek), I'd not only look like I had an extremely nice rack and bod - but also like I have the dance experience of 20+ years.

Michael Jackson does Young MC

Not in the butt.

My favorite video meets my favorite song.
How beautiful of this dude... whoever he is.

New New New...

New things, situations, people, life experiences abound.

And bah dah dah dah dah... I'm lovin' it.

I hope all the rest of you are clearning out uneccessary things to make room for new, wonderful things - because I'm a walking example of this method at it's finest.

I keep trying to think of something to write about and keep coming up blank.

I also keep trying to watch "The Science of Sleep" and "Hollywoodland," then get sucked into the computer... and sleeping more.

I'm still finding myself longing for London... and last night, pulled out a little stuffed reminder. With all the good things happening, I'm wondering if I can have the strength to manifest England over to me...

or, ya know. a dude with an accent would work well, too. Bloody oh, girl, that's a right nice arse ya got there. Phwaaaaaaar.

Cheers!

check the latest
Feb 5-9 = anna nicole,
Feb 12-16 = team britney.
i'm taking bets on next week. anyone? anyone?]

Chris Cornell quit Audioslave. Sucktastic. Maybe you should start me up some Soundgarden again. Please?

This guy is totally my new favorite person:


like him? More here, and here.

Beatboxing is hot. Spending hours in your room alone on the flute... maybe not so much.

WHAT?!

Is this Legit?



TMZ Reports...
Britney Spears, back from less than 24 hours in a Caribbean rehab facility, showed up at a Sherman Oaks, Calif. tattoo parlor Friday night sporting a new hairdo. KABC in Los Angeles caught her as she got a new tattoo of red lips on her wrist...

Let's discuss this... please.

Home

I think that's my favorite word.

"Home."

Because to me, it represents so many things that are good in life.

Environment. Ambiance. Family. Love. Security. Comfort. Peace.

I haven't had it for the last four months and so I've chosen to create a new one for myself - and i'm most excited.

Until then, I am one of the lucky few to actually land a flight back to my parents beautiful home in Sodak late this evening.. Apparently 11 flights or so were scheduled - but do to aweful weather - my flight was the only one to make it out all day. Looks like that lady bug in D-Day 2007 is really starting to rub off.

In the last three days I've found a few things:

1. A little clarity and go-to when it comes to my living situation.
2. A renewed sense of Sami after spending an incredibly fun valentines day with JB, a HUGE bottle of wine, eating the best mac and cheese i've ever had, mr. biptastic and an ipod stocked to the 60 meg brim and a stereo system on which to blast said music at THE loudest volume possible until 1 in the morning (FUN!)
3. The best Meatball Sandwich (and Tirimisu) in Denver (Angelo's on 6th and Washington - Thanks, Sam D.
4. That some people regurgitate everything thing they read in order to sound 100% informed - but after I read something I had heard word for word earlier by some individual out of the page of a magazine - I realized they knew nothing at all (funny. - because I've been guilty of this in the past).
5. Aveda's school may be cheap and full of sweet students - but they do not give the best pedicures.
6. I am a snuggly sleeper and... embarassingly, a little gassy.
7. Year of the Pig begins TOMORROW (Sunday).
8. I need to marry someone who is comfortable in quiet... and doesn't fill every moment with loud, rushed sentences.
9. Today's snope of the week.
10. Music and Lyrics... not so great...
11. I like to make lists...

Home is where the heart is... and I'll land mine on Bannock starting Mar. 5 :) Come visit!

St. Valentine

This year has seemed least like a Valentines Day than ever before.

As a Matter of Fact - it's Wednesday.

Everyone has their opinion. Some people are bitter. Some people get pissed about being alone - think it's rude to wish them well and love on a holiday - and some go waaaaaay overboard and expect retarded presents. I'm calling it a good day to celebrate love. I love love. I used to bake people cupcakes, sugar cookies with frosting... send out cute cards.

Eh... I got lazy this year.

So from Samantha St. Valentine Jo Lien (My Confirmed Catholic Name): Happy Heart Day to all of you that have heart and share it with me once in awhile, as well :)

xoxoxoxoxoxo

[I love the history on this story - mainly that "the reason St. Valentine was beheaded was that he continued to marry young couples even though Claudius forbad it. Apparently, Claudious thought that married soldiers weren't as good as single soldiers."]

Conversations with Myself

I don't know how many of you really buy into that astrology bullshit (ok, i'm guilty), but I seem to think it's not that far off when I have such a difficult time making decisions.

My birthday is next Tuesday (Feb 20) - which means I START the Pisces Cycle and consequently, END the Aquarian Cycle.

For all of you that are Pisces - you know you let emotion guide everything, and that symbol of two fishes swimming in opposite direction? That's you not knowing what the hell you're doing.

Top that with the Aquarian notion to be generally thotful people - who question everything, gather facts, and move on logic - That puts me somewhere near the middle - hearing my gut, doing my reserach, deducing the pros, the cons, all consequences and scenarios - and still wondering if I'm heading in the right direction.

It's bloody OBNOXIOUS.

And a horrid character trait (flaw) that I've been dealing with full nelson for the past few weeks.

I can only explain it as traveling along a wavelength that could drop down or raise up at any moment (no i'm not bipolar). It would probably explain my decisions as of late and also why when I do make a decision, it's pretty much out of nowhere and on the fly.

I've been house shopping. I've found a beautiful place. Thing is I already have a house back home that I want to keep and rent. All is well and good and I can handle this, however I have some hesitiation with this and of course doubts that everything could, in fact not turn out best case scenario.

And so there is also the option to rent a cheap place while renting out my house, pay for all of my things to get here, and be in a small place where I have all of my things and potentially have to move it all in 6 months down the road (i hate moving - which is funny, considering I've done it consistantly for the past 6 years) - but for any of you who have owned - you know that once you do , it's really hard to go back.

However - there is in thinking that without the additional money going toward a mortgage - it could be going toward more travel, car payments, etc.... but i'm seemingly finding that my home is really important to me.

A week and a half ago I was on the verge of dropping everything and moving back home to BE in my home.
Now I'm about to go under contract.
Pretty extreme decisions.

But the thot of going with renting while someone lives in my beautiful house makes me incredibly sad... and if you really can't buy happiness - than why would one way make me so much more happy than the latter?

I'm meeting with my agent in one hour and four minutes counting - and I don't have the slightest clue which way I want to go...

Lucia!

The Headache Debate

When I started going regularly at 16 to my alternative health care doctor/chiropractor back in Rapid City for bitchy mood swings and consistent headaches, I was disheartened to learn that an individual is allowed only two headaches per year.

TWO?!

Ok... well I guess I can count that legitimate if each headache I have lasts for... let's see... carry the 7, times 6 - about 147 days a piece.

I kicked it in the butt for a good 5 years or so. With college and what not. Then I was around someone my senior year which required me to take tension headache medicine every 5 hours or so (Excedrine is a godsend!). I also nearly lost my brother that year - and when I realized I was 1,200 miles away and couldn't do anything about it - I started cleaning, stopped managing my stress intake - and started taking it all on in my shoulders and neck.

I started getting them pretty regularly once again in... August or so of last year.
Sometimes, this required popping a codine from my tonsil surgery and passing the f' out and sleeping it off til morning. Kind of like having a constant hangover.

Most of the time, It's very tender along my brow bones (sinus), directly behind my ears (what is this?) and INCREDIBLY sore at the base of scull (migraine, right?) I've done a lot of reading - but am still lost for a solution.

I've tried experimenting on a pretty consistent basis to try and weed out the negatives and knock out the head pain --- because feeling like you constantly have some kind of poison lurking in your system is not f*ing fun - and I never wanted to be the bitch that could never do anything because, "Sorry - I have a headache."

Some experiments so far:

1. Hit up the Doctor:
When I had constant sinus problems and felt like crumbag, I left work one friday to see the doctor at Immediacare down the street. The verdict? Strep and Sinusitis. Greaaaaat. I got put on Xmg of Amoxocillon (3 pills, twice daily) for 14 days. That's 84 pills! Sounds not right, yeah?

Result: Awesome. I didn't have a headache at all for those two weeks. Now that I'm off - they're back. Although this has deemed the most successful, that amount of antibiotics can't be that great for your body - plus it didn't fix the headache problem.

2. Eliminate Dairy.:
Painful. because cheese is the fruit of all good - and i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve chocolate milk. Soy is not a viable solution to the fact it makes me sleep 17 hour nights and messes with my 'female system' (i found this out after I bought a 24 carton pack from Sam's Club. What a waste...) I attribute it to an emotional allergy that I actually had fixed three times while going to my alternative health care guy (but always came back). Thanks dad for that emotional scar. ;-) I figure I'd give the elimination 3 weeks to feel real results.

Results: I felt better over all. I always have a tendancy to taste lotion on my tongue when I eat too much -- (really gross) - plus i probably lost a few pounds... and damn, Sam - My skin looked amazing. I can't help but think Core Power Yoga had something to do with that, as well. But I'm still getting headaches.

3. Work Out More:
Core Power Yoga does a first time student special for $79/month - after one class, I was sold. Signed up, and made THE most of that membership (Normal classes run $16/each). I figured if I was stretching out tense spots and really focusing on how I felt, I could push those headaches way the hell away from me.

Results: Complete and utter detoxification. Especially after the first time. I can tell you - if you haven't tried CPY - you should - and you should also know that you will never, EVER sweat, and enjoy sweating as much as you do in that damn class. Again, my skin ROCKS casbah - my postures better, my thighs and stomach mother f'n hurt - and I think I store about 39% less stress in my neck and shoulders. But -- I still got some headaches + since the only time I could hit up class was after work around 6 or 7 at night - the sun salutations kept me up and made it hard to sleep... Maybe i'll try running in the AM (ha. right).

4. Eliminate stressful people
I've really liked saying that I don't stress, because everything always works out for the best (which I really do believe), but because I take on other people's issues, and am so intuition-based on feeling the energy of other's around me --- I can't hold that statement true to form. I don't really worry about my situation - and as much as I know I can't control anyone else - it's a bad habbit that I haven't figured out how to break. So ---- get rid of those people?

Result: Some luck here. I definately don't have to constantly reschedule my life - worry about whats what, who's where, why's which when who how. Wait... what? Oh, yeah - I shut my life switch to 'off' - but now I have the occasional punch of loneliness and... i still have headaches.

5. Various Food Allergies
Am I starting to sound like a hypochondriac yet? I'm not. But I do believe in being proactive and listening to my body to tell me what's up. Did you know when you're allergic to something, you crave it even more? I've been on a tuna kick... and starting to think I'll need to kick the fish.

Results: Not great. Because I won't give up Tuna.

I'm a running science experiment and looking for the grand answer that will grant me superhero status of never having a headache ever again. If someone can please help - pleaseeeeee help... I'll even result to an enema or fast to clean out my system... just - give - me - suggestions!

Coffee and Cigarettes

Coffee... goooooood.


Cigarettes... baaaaaad. Unless, of course, i've had 78 shots and then you willst not judge me or call me a hypocrite when i light one up and speed on through it in 5.2 seconds.

Put them together?


A Friend of mine said he was a big Jim Jarmush fan and to give him a try.

What else is there?

Broken Flowers (this actually looked interesting... i'l have to check it)
Year of the Horse
Dead Man

Oh God... Coffee and Cigarettes III ????

Not a fan. Great cameos. Great consistency. Great concept. Meg and Jack are aweful at dry acting (stick to music, please) - but i couldn't, for the life of me make it through the whole thing. Good thing I get "famiy discount" at Videotique. mwa. ha.

Shining point: Gza, Rza and Bill Muwweeee (thanks to the movie dude at the Videostore who made a mention - i literally stood at the counter on my computer and watched). Funny. Vewwy Funny.

Too bad it wasn't the first skit of the litter:



But ya know - if you have other suggestions - let me know. I'll try it before i knock it.
Annnnd... if you've seen it - whatcha thinkin?

Let it go...

An old friend found me on myspace and had this up on her profile... Considering the big stress knot plagueing my left shoulder and neck - I thot it was pretty approriate - for everyone.

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone!!

When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that 'They came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been for us, no doubt they would have continued with us.' [ 1 John 2:19 ]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you cannot make them stay. Let them go.

It doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in your story is over. And you have got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, & I know that whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it. So stop begging people to stay & let them go.

If you are holding onto something that doesn't belong to you & was never intended for your life then you need to...let it go!

If you are holding onto past hurts & pains...let it go!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, & see your worth...let it go!

If someone has angered you...let it go!

If you are holding onto thoughts of evil & revenge...let it go!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...let it go!

If you are holding onto a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...let it go!

If you have a bad attitude...let it go!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...let it go!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship...let it go!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves...let it go!

If you are feeling depressed & stressed...let it go!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself & God is saying 'take your hands off of it' then you need to...let it go!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. God is doing a new thing for 2007!!! So let it go. Get right or get left. Think about it, then let it go!

Snope of the Week

Which one is True? Which one is False? Have some Fun and Make your Guesses....

Story #1: 50 Cent

Claim:: Rapper 50 Cent Underwent Emergency Surgery to reattach a hand severed by a car door.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 7:47 AM ET

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) * Rapper 50 Cent underwent emergeny surgery last night while doctors tried to replace his left hand.

The superstar rapper, also known as Curtis Jackson was outside of the Glass house nightclub early Tuesday morning when the Lamborhini Doors on his Escalade slammed down on his left hand. Eyewitness reports claimed that it may have been a gust of wind, but some say the vibration from the speakers in his Cadillac may have cause the Lamborghini door to slam shut.

Paramedics rushed Jackson to the USC Medical Center, where emergency room doctors tried to reattach Jackson's left hand. Unfortunately, the blood loss was too severe, and they were unable to salvage Jackson's hand.

The operating doctor was not available for comment, but the hospital did release a statement. "Our medical staff performed beyond expectations in an attempt to prevent the loss of Curtis Jackson's hand. It's an unfortunate accident, and we hope to help Mr. Jackson through the trauma and rehabilitation," signed by the president of USC Medical Center.

Jackson's debut album, "Get Rich or Die Tryin'," sold over 3 million copies worldwide. He is signed to Eminem's Shady Record label under the INterscope umbrella. He has a new album slated for release this March titled, "The St. Valentine's Day Massacre."

A comment from his label was unavailable at press time.
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Story #2: Beheaded for Trouble
Claim: A cuckolded husband presented his wife with the head of her lover.

FULDA, Germany, Dec 8 (AFP) - An American soldier cut off the head of his pregnant wife's lover and put it on her bedside table in the hospital here where she was about to give birth, a spokesman at the German public prosecutor's office said on Wednesday.

The angry husband struck on Tuesday when his rival, a fellow GI in the American 11th cavalry reigemnt, was phoning the woman from nearby Sickels military airfield.

The first soldier (Schap) cut off the second one's (Glover) head with a knife, then drove to the hospital and showed it to his wife and left it there. The victim just had time to call down the telephone,"Your husband is coming," The German sources said.

An American army spokesman confirmed a decapitated body had been found in a telephone box at the military airfiled. U.S. military police held the first man for questioning. He was not immediately named.

The door bust open and there stood Stephen Schap (her husband) carryin ga head Gym Bag. "He had the sports bag over his shoulder, and it looked like it was full," she said.

It was. Her husband reached into the bag, she said, and pulled out Glover's head.

"He grasped the head in both hands and he tried to push it in my face. I kept screaming and screaming."

"Look, Diane - Glover's here! He'll sleep with you every night now. Only you won't sleep - because all you'll see is this," Shap told her.

For your answer - go check out Snopes.

Not just Anna Nicole Smith.

Businessman Bruce Lien dies

RAPID CITY - Bruce Lien, who for more than 60 years was a partner in the prominent Rapid City Company, Pete Lien & Sons, died Thursday. He was 79.

Friends and associates remember Bruce Lien as a gentleman and businessman who enjoyed travel, conversation and a good joke.

Ron Wheeler of Deadwood, former South Dakotat sercretary of transportation, worked with Bruce Lien on business matters in the past four years.

"He was just a marvelous guy - good sense of humor, very ethical," Wheeler said. "He always had a smile on his face. An extremely nice gentleman."

In 1944, Bruce's father, Pete Lien, bought the old Black Hills Marble Quarry west of Rapid City and set up the partnership with sons Bruce and Chuck Lien called Pete Lien & Sons.

Over the years, Pete Lien & Sons became a broad-based mining and construction materials business. Headed by Bruce Lien's brother, Chuck Lien, Pete Lien & Sons is a broad-based corporation with interests in sand, crushed rock, concrete products, ready-mix concrete, steel, oil and gas, land development and other ventures.

Bruce Lien sold his share in teh family business one year ago, marking the end of an acrimonious family dispute that included a lengthy lawsuit.

In addition, Bruce Lien had interests in gambling and other ventures. In the 1990s, he was the primary shareholder in Concrde Gaming, based in Rapid City. A publicly traded company, Concorde operated cambling operations at various times in North Dakota, South Dakota, Florida and Colorado.

"He was a true gentleman in all of his appearances and utterances," said Dr. Ernest Schabauer, who met with Bruce Lien regular at the gathering, who died in 2005.

Lien was a regular at the three-times-a-week coffee club. "He always had a good, cool wit and in many ways, was most entertaining and enjoyable," Schabauer said.

Services are pending with Serenity Springs Funeral Chapel...

The heart of love...

I"ve felt for some time I belong in London.

Ok, let me rephrase that. I've had up-in-the-clouds ponderings of me in a sweet flat above a bakery on a London corner of an English Street with my cute little scooter, wearing scarfs, boots and dating some cute english bloke with an accent.

Ever so often, I"m reminded of that fleeting feeling (which really isn't so fleeting).

When I was 14, I found a picture of a baby blue vespa with black leather seat (extended for one extra rider), a wire basket and enough space on the floor for a pooch that still needs to be mine.

At 17, I met the english bloke and woah, was he cuuuuuuuute. He was a former DJ that spun drum and base, worked hard as a mechanic and lived in a small house with his best friend of 10 years and his cat Holly. Being such an akward, ugly teenager, I was incredibly suprised he was interested in me, as well. He went back to England - I went off to college, and we kept in touch the entirety of my freshman year.

He was incredibly sweet to me. We talked every chance we got. I got 9-page loveletters with presents in the mail (i LOVE postal mail, not to mention international!), an e-mail every night before he went to bed, and oodles of good music that I still attribute to some top slots in my music collection.

I had images of me impulsively flying into London - finding some train to Dudley and showing up on his doorstep as a complete surprise during spring break - I had no doubts or insecurities - but I was scared and young. When he mentioned he was saving up his money to come on "holiday" to visit me for a few weeks - I freaked out and told him not to come - until we slowly drifted off, I met douche after douche and he ended up with a girl that doesn't allow him to ever use the internet. I think the last conversation we had was about 3 years ago with me wondering why it was fair for a girl to govern what you do... I think it mainly pissed him off - or maybe it was because I got stupid sucked into some jerk's life that I actually thot could offer me the same thing.

Since then, I've thought adimately about flying to London, but never have. I was invited over by a friend to come visit while he was abroad and didn't... i'm not sure why I kept saying no...

It's embarassing to say - but I have been thinking about him a lot lately (Sounds A little too Serendipity, yes?). Leave it to Bridget Jones, The Holiday, Me Without You and every semi with the "England" logo plastered on the back of it to remind me... I've had my heart hurt over things occasionally - but this is more something that lingers and makes me wonder, 'what if.' if i had only had the guts i have now. I could actually be doing that life that i've wanted for the past 11 years...

Friends Fan?

CNN.com reports the following:

NEW YORK (AP) -- Christina Aguilera has no problem showing skin -- especially on weekends with her husband, music executive Jordan Bratman.

"We claim ourselves to be the coziest couple ever. We have something called 'naked Sundays,' " the 26-year-old pop star tells Ellen DeGeneres in an interview set to air Wednesday on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

"You have to keep marriage alive, spice it up," says Aguilera, who married Bratman in November 2005. So the couple stays in on Sundays, she says. "We do everything naked. We cook naked."

"You cook naked?" asks DeGeneres.

Aguilera replies: "Yeah, we cook naked."

"Nothing with grease -- that could splatter," says DeGeneres.

"Well, unless you want the grease," Aguilera replies.

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

I think Miss A and her hubby stay in on Sundays watching episodes of Friends...

* Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Phoebe: You cook naked?
Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal... nothing that splatters.

*Joey: Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies... and you know about Naked Thursdays, right?
Rachel: Yeah... yeah I think I'm gonna find my own place.
Chandler: Hey, hey! I thought Naked Thursday was just our thing, man!

No... They ARE NOT!!!!

So anyone who's anyone cool knows and loves most movies made in the 80s.

My favorite?

Adventures in Babysitting (AIB).

Samipedia Summary: Hot girl get's blown off for a fancy dinner date by deuche - ends up babysitting kids - one of which is really into Thor, the other of which is a teenage boy with a massive crush and a horny best friend. All four go down to Chicago initially to get ice cream and help hot girls best friend who in a fit of impulse, decides to hit the bus station and run away --- Massive night of Murphy's law ensues.... and they got the blues... cause you know it's hard --- babysittin' theeeeese guys.

CLASSIC. -

You don't remake a classic. When referring to the 80s, the following are under a remake protection clause:
The Princess Bride
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Top Gun
The Indiana Jones Trilogy
Wierd Science
Sixteen Candles
The Breakfast Club
Footloose
Back to the Future Trilogy
Say Anything
Adventures in Babysitting!!!!

This includes Television Adaptations as well... Ferris didn't work (Jennifer Anniston Can tell you why) - and neither did AIB (i'm guessing it had something to do with Brian Austin Green and Joey Lawrence).

Under no circumstances will any motivated young film maker/director try to make it better, newer, more viewer-friendly. No. NO! If anyone even touched Back to the Future, I'd kick them in the crotch.

Well apparently Disney missed the memo, because they will be putting out a brand new 21st century production of Adventures of Babysitting starring none-other than:

Raven Symone.

Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. You just ruined my month.

I'm sure they'll try to get a special appearance by Elizabeth Shue as "That's So Raven's" interacial white mom and get some equally obnoxious child actress to play the obsessive Thor chic - except she won't be into Thor- she'll be into the Cheetah Girls. And her best friend can be Hannah Montana and Disney can continue to churn out too young, too obnoxious, child actors that they're marketing on an hourly basis.

RUBBISH! I'm sure Chris Columbus is singing the "Lame-ass Movie Blues (baby baby)"

No Toes For you....

Sadly, I've left my 2002 journal back at my home in sodak - so alas - no ingrown toenail stories until that time.

So sad...

But if you're interested in seeing what I think about when associating an image with "Grosses ballbag ever" please, click here (but be warned).

photo credit.(seriously. not safe for kiddies)
Reason for you viewing: Ariel. :) haha

Word/Object Association

Have I ever written about this?

Never?

Wierd.

I suppose when you get used to things being a certain way, you don't encourage people to ask more questions.



I have no sense of smell.

I think I've told pretty much everyone I've ever come across in my lifetime - mostly because there comes a time when someone stuffs something in front of my face and tells me to "Smell this! It's Amazing!!!!"

On my 11th Birthday, I brought my best friend Nelly Tilly up to my Aunt Melanie's Cabin in Spearfish Canyon for a sleepover, carrot cake with blueberry frosting and homemade pizza's at Melanie's Kitchen (Her Kitchen Island over which I would play customer, and she would play chef).

In true Sami-Fashion, By the end of the first night, I had paynes of wanting to be in two places at once, cried for an hour about wanting to go home, only to end up having a blast and sticking it out (i still do this... and it's a whole other subject. so annoying).

When we woke up the next morning, my uncle adorned my name in chocolate chips on pancakes and for the rest of the afternoon, we worked on swinging (they had a swing in her house), laughing and card tricks.

Halfway through the day, My aunt decided to whip out her old apothecary case and do a little smell testing.

I think after going through about eight viles of everyone else saying "Woah. Saphron" "Woah, Ginger!" "Woah, this lilac is so strong!" and me staring blankly at the floor - i realized that my sniffer just wasn't sniffin'.

I wrote it off for a few years... then when I was in high school, my mom took me in for an MRI to make sure there wasn't some obscene tumor not only obstructing my sense of smell, but waiting to clear my life completely. No dice... and so the problem has never been fixed.

Now, this can either go one of two ways:

1. Really awesome...!
2.Not really awesome!

Let me elaborate:

1a. I'm every man's dream. You can blow ass, take horrendous dumps, not shower for days and rub your stinky feet all over the viscinity of my nose and--- nothing. Dutch Oven My ass, Bitch. You're the one who will Suffer. Mwa ha ha ha ha.

1b. The carpet cleaners scowered our hallways in Sechrist Hall my Freshman year and everyone on our floor could barely function... I was skipping to the loo and cookin up salmon.

1c. I have cats. 'nough said.

on the flip side...

2a. I am every man's downfall. I actually went on a date with a guy who had gotten very dolled up. When i told him he probably smelled good, but I wouldn't be able to tell - he turned around and drove me home because he thought I was lying. If you make a special effort, it's lost on me...

2b. Say my house catches on fire while i'm sleeping and I have no one with me to shake me awake... I'm pretty much fucked!

2c. I'm smelly magilicutty. You know... come to think of it - i've never worn deoderant a day in my life- and never had a problem. But If I reak like hell and have no one around that i trust to tell me otherwise, i could for see a mass amount of embarassment.

2d. Cookies, Baby heads, cake, chicken, scented oils, massage oil, candles, lotion (the main forgetfullness of all of my friends who always want me to share in how wonderful their new item smells) and food, food, food... you get the point.

Aside from looking and feeling nice,Bath and Body Works, Victoria's Secret, Melt, Flowers for any reason other than to cheer me up - looks sweet on my pub table .... are all lost on me.

I suppose the reason I love Peppermint so much is because I can catch a whiff when inserted nearly into one nostril - and Rain is amazing because it smells... Cold. But I equate Cold to Fresh and Fresh is great (kind of like FeBreeze, which is the best invention ever, because i have to think that whatever is coming out of that can really is de-odorizing everything so that it feels clean when i touch it).

So now that you have background - the main point of all of this...

I feel like I sort of was jipped on the whole smell association thing of which all humans have been so pleasantly blessed.

I.e.Any particular scent makes you think of a pleasant/unpleasant person, place or thing.

I think this why I'm so tactile. I touch everything. And I have wierd associations.

I actually have an entire three pages in my 2002 journal on how I associate the pain of my ingrown toenail to Nestle's hot chocolate with bunny marshmallows and visa versa (posted tomorrow - because it's hilarious).

Oddly enough, I can still taste (Hyposmia) - but I can't inhale a smell through my mouth and try to proccess the smell through my taste buds... I'm not sure why I'd even want to.

I honestly wish I would have found out a lot sooner - because my family has this cruel joke of placing some bizarre substance in your face and telling you to smell it before smashing it into your face... i can't even count the number of times I ended up with butter, ice cream or pumpkin pie stuck to my nose/cheeks.

So I'm asking all of you... who are around me on a regular basis to expand your word/object association a bit further, and associate "Sami/Samantha/Sam" with "HAS NO SENSE OF SMELL" so that next time we're out at the mall shopping for bubble bath, you dont' f'ing ask me to tell you what I think. :)

Hey - Infomercial Industry:

I haven't stayed up til 4 in the morning since college... Usually because I was Bonnie (not Clyde) on five hour road trips from Albequerque to Flagstaff - driving out to the middle of nowhere on long night drives with friends having bad days because they decided to give BLOOD when they pass out at the sight of it (hahaha) and, ya know - the usual, waiting til the absolute, last possible minute to write a 2,000 word editorial for a capstone journalism class...

Then I started the 9-5 'career' and rarely made it past 10:30 or 11 at night...

When I first moved to Denver and was single girl sue in the city, JB (my old boss) was determined to make me into a bonified 23-year old - meaning, I was to go out to the bars 5 or 6 nights out of the week. After one night out with the girls at Denver's SnakePit (Ladies night - drink free... dance to 80s music) and throwing up about 12 times on a work night - I gave it up... I didn't even last ONE FREAKING DAY.

So sad...

But last night I had the opportunity to catch up on my late night programming.

The usual TBS movie... MTV CRAP videos - and... infomercials.
All on exercise equipment and diet programs.

And it got me thinking that it's no wonder America is so flabby - because we're all sleeping while Chuck Norris and Christy Brinkly are showing us how to use some machine to fix our fat asses, thunder thighs and granny arms (right... let's all hire a $1,000/day personal trainer like you did...).

I honestly can't imagine anyone that actually stays up as late as I did last night on a regular basis would be doing anything else but eating cheatos, hot wings and strawberry milk. Great Target Audience...

But i still can't deny that they're addictive. Maybe it's the inner hope we all have that we, too can be thin with a machine/magic plan. We want it easy - and for free or cheap. But once the selling shpiel is over and i find out I have to pay 37 payments of $29.99 - I kind of give up. If i can't even find the motivation to pay some dollars (through visa - i'd do NOTHING but read numbers...) I can't fathom finding the drive to get on some machine and do repetitions every day.

Here's some advice.

1. Sleep through Breakfast and Lunch (advice via Kendra from Girls Next Door - a show I love, but can't tell you why...). Sleeping really does help your body work right.
2. Put on a $70 pair of Reeboks/Nikes/New Balance (my preffered).
3. Go for a freaking walk.
4. Stop eating so much f'ing crap.
5. Go back to sleep - sleep through the infomercials...

Wasn't there a Northern Exposure episode where one of the characters was obsessed with the home shopping network and wasting all of her savings on useless crap? Message Recieved. Message Relayed...

Slang... bitch.

We are constantly re-inventing the 'good word.' And thanks to one of my sweet-ass coworkers, I've developed a whole new vocabulary... Ghetto style. Oh yeah... and I also just downloaded the New Justin Timberlake Album to help get my groove on.

Word.

Let's help you get your groove on as well, shall we? A lesson in Street Slang, thanks to Knock Knock Slang Flash Cards:

There are a ton of things out there that are hella cool, tight as crunk, and sweet, as fine -- but when it's hella tight, you know you're sportin' a beautiful little item, bootay or your cosmetic surgery as actually successful.




Ever been caught in traffic? Sick of screaming obscenities? Try one of my favorites... it can be classified as a four-letter word and if you're extra angry, just put extra emphasis on the "ooooooooooooh."

Personally, I'd rather check out the dome of some sweet cathedral over in Ireland, Italy, Etc --- especially if someone got smoked on the noggin and is bleeding from all angles. Who be with me here? But at least if you ever get the balls enough to smack someone straight up their head, you can say that you "domed" them.

More:Frontin, Jankey, Big Ups... just buy the damn thing! it's only $13 bucks.

For those of you scooter ridin', oven-cookin, loves-to-wear-skirts, heels and pin-up apparrel like me:
Vintage Slang Cards,
For the suit and glasses kids:Corporate Jargon
Therapy Cards for those of us who just can't get our shit, let alone $90/session together
Especially approriate for the upcoming holidays (SAD or Valentimes) - SEX Flashcards.

Booyeah....

Also... The new JT totally makes me want to practice some kokigami...

Mmmm. Football Food.

I was just reminded amidst this drrryyyy Denver weather (Which is odd considering it's snowed every single week for the last two months) that I still have chapped lips and nothing is working in aiding the healing proccess.

Upon mentioning this to my mom, she was quick to remind me that I used to think my Great Grandpa ate Chapped-Lip (Chocolate) Ice Cream and was horrified when I ate chicken legs on a regular basis, only to find out that they were real chicken legs.

Ew...

Leave it up to my family to ruin drumsticks for me again when over a Father's Day dinner at my grandparents, I asked my gorgeous model aunt why she wasn't having any chicken. You'd assume it was because she was a model.

Steph: No... I'm not really into eating skin...

Awesome. You can bet i do a little peeling now before consuming any fried chicken. Breast, Leg or Gams...
That should be a good pre-curser kick-off to your superbowl party tomorrow evening :)

I'll be .... eating chocolate and watching movies...

It's OK not to be Friends with an Ex.

Notable Breakups as of Late (Hey man, I'm just Jumpin on the Trend):


Ryan and Alanis


Cameron and Dick-in-a-Box


Britney and Kevin

These are rare occurances when the dude just looks way cooler than the skank (yes, even in Britney's case using the last month as an example...
and that just usually isn't the case!

For the most part - I stay pretty level-headed. I see each side for what it's worth, I feel strongly about certain things, not so much about others. I'll speak my mind, but always to your face. I'm pretty picky when it comes to close friends. I don't do gala events to do surface talk and pretend like we like each other. I want bulk. I want substance. I want to feel good about who I am when I'm with you - and I want you to feel the same. I always try to keep things even keel with everyone. I'm open. I'll do my best to fix what I fucked up - if I can't - I understand and you can have your time. I'll always have an opinion - but I don't judge and I have a difficult time with people who do when they haven't been there-done that.

I'm Switzerland. I'm good at it. I've even managed to make ammends with ex-boyfriends who've used me for my money, my time, my car, my smarts and sex - only to cheat or fail horribly at rising to my bar of standards (which isn't even hard - because I'd never set a bar - I"ve just accepted you for who you were-first mistake). -I've kept them feeling important, loved, smart, hot, intelligent, etc. while i sacrificed feeling the same.

The Royal you: "Dumb, Bitch,"
Me: "Huhhh. what?"

Oh no wait, that was pre-2007 me.
Me post 2006: "I know, right?!"

Thanks for not doing the same to me - and since that's what 'friends' are supposed to do - I guess I don't owe you that even keel - nor do i owe you a friendship.

I find it most amusing that the moment I decide to swear off men completely, all of the men in my past come trapesing about within a 24-hour period.

Do you have some kind of radar or something?? Because I'm pretty open and all - because before this ugly rant, I don't recall sending out a newswire on the topic.

I dont' seek you out. In fact, I erased your numbers when I got my new phone. If I get a phone call from an unknown number, you can bet I'm sending that bitch to voicemail. I've also chaged my machine to tell you to leave a message - no promise of the return phone call. You know why? Because you suck, and I don't want to talk to you.

I don't know when the moment we're blessed with that realization that we keep dating the same men - or the same women - over and over again, but when that moment hits, it's rock-solid - and I'm not saying I'm bitter - but I'm saying i'm not doing this regular, run-of-the mill bullshit anymore. And to all of you men that suddenly had an urge to get ahold of me - please delete my number. Better yet - you won't have to - because I'm pretty sure I'll have a new one in a few weeks.

This has been a public message from miss snotty pants mcgee
(someone i'm getting extremely good at being when you cross me incorrectly).

Oh yeah... the teenage-rant diary style ends here. Substantial good things to come...